The Number 1 Way to Feel Better and Regain Control Over Your Life

“We mortals, men and women, devour many a disappointment between breakfast and dinner-time; keep back the tears and look a little pale about the lips, and in answer to inquiries say, “Oh, nothing!”…”

Middlemarch, George Eliot

This world is full of disappointments. Our entire lives can be shaped and directed by regrets, sorrow, heartache. It can hold you back from following your dreams, destroy your confidence, make you fearful of the future, change the way you think about yourself. You’re not good enough, smart enough, pretty enough, talented enough. You’ve waisted too much of your life already so why try now? How does one live in a world full of such pain, harm and fear? How does one not let past wrongs hold them captive to a life they did not dream of? One simple action.


The practice of forgiveness can have many physical and mental benefits; it improves the quality of relationships, decreases anxiety and stress, lowers blood pressure and risk of depression, it can create a stronger immune system and heart health.

Here is an article that goes into greater depth on the health benefits of forgiveness.

So why do we hold on to the hurt, bitterness and pain if there are so many benefits to let it go? It can give us a sense of power, and righteousness. It also is familiar and can feel safer. Victimization can also cause others to feel sorry for us giving us a feeling of self-importance; the “my life is harder than your life”, “you haven’t had the hardships and set backs I have” can give us an excuse not to live up to our full potential, so if we fail, we have something to blame.

“forgivness is the fragrance that the Violet sheds on the heal that crushed it.”

Mark Twain

     People are taught about forgiveness and maybe its importance, but very few are actually taught How to forgive. Most are taught to simply say the words “I forgive you” and they are forgiven. I find this to be a very poor teaching. Probably the best teaching I have heard on forgiveness comes from Dennis, and Dr. Jennifer Clark. Their ministry, Kingdom Life Church, in Fort Mill SC, has a very simple, effective way of teaching about forgiveness. Its simple enough for a child to understand and is effective immediately.

Now for those of you who are Believers,

cross jesus summit cross
Photo by Pixabay on

Someone once told me that not forgiving someone is like saying what Jesus did on the cross wasn’t enough and it is not finished, he needs to stay there longer to pay for what happened. Would you want your best friend, the best thing to ever happen to you to continue to suffer the most excruciating form of torture? Who am I to say “It is not enough.”?

Ephesians 4:32 says: “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another as God in Christ forgave you.” How did God in Christ forgive you? “Father forgive them, for they know not what they do.” The most precious and pure example of forgiveness. Jesus asked His Father to forgive those who were killing him.

“Life appears to me too short to be spent in nursing animosity or registering wrongs.” 

Jane Eyre, Charlotte Brontë



Here is more information about the Clarks:


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