How Parenthood Has changed Me part 2

Well if I thought October was a crazy month, the last week out-crazed it all! We had horrible mold problems in our apartment that we had to evacuate and find somewhere new all in a span of four days. And to top it off the computer stopped working. But hey, first world problems!

As a young adult, I never thought much about germs. I was young(er) and invincible! I was in the prime of youth, loving life, anything was possible! I would never grow old never really got sick. Sure, I would be “responsible” and wash my hands when I worked in a kitchen or got dirty. But germs weren’t that big of a deal! If I did ever get sick, it was only for a few days and most of the time I would just sleep through it and be fine. But now when I see someone sick or have….

Germs!!!

A Baby’s worst enemy. I will go hide with my kids in my cave thank you! I’ll see you in the summer.

No joke!

I would rather be in solitary confinement for most of not all winter than have sick babies. When it’s one, it’s not so bad or hard to keep well. But with two, the older sibling is harder to keep from getting and sharing germs and it seems an impossible monumental task to keep the germs away from siblings.

There is nothing worse as a parent than seeing your child so sick in a hospital and feeling helpless. Small germs for adults that are more bothersome and annoying than anything can be life threatening for babies. So this winter, PLEASE! Just keep all snotty noses at home. It might be easier and more convenient for you to send you kid out, they may be just well enough, but that convenience for yourself could cost a family house of sleep, and thousands of dollars. (So here’s your friendly reminder not to kiss or touch babies that aren’t yours without the mothers permission! And if your baby or older child is sick, please keep them home!)

It’s not only sick germs that I seem to have a heightened sense for these days, germs and dirt in general, because apparently OCD Postpartum is a real thing and postpartum anxiety can be easily triggered by clutter and a messy house. So don’t feel bad if you’re having some OCD but always seek help if you feel it is beyond a healthy degree.

I’ve also noticed (in the rare and short moments I am out by myself) of how I carry myself as a mother. I seem to feel like it doesn’t matter as much how I look no matter the occasion if I have kids with me. I have to dress a certain way, faint wear earrings or jewelry of any kind. I know I’m going to get something on me or my outfit is going to get dirty in some way or just not sit the same because babys on the hip. I do t feel as attractive of free to relax and be comfortable in my surrounding like I would otherwise. Without children I feel a sense of empowered freedom, capable of anything in that moment!

Is this how it is for all mothers? No! This is my story, this is how I feel. I tell this so that others who may feel this way won’t feel alone or guilty for feeling this way. Being a mother can be great, but it does not have to be the calling on your life. If it is, great! Do it to the best of your ability. I admire that. There does not need to be any judgment for either side of things. If you are the mother who feels stuck or wants to do more, just know, this will not last long. Enjoy every moment. The years go buy quicker than you think. You’re not missing out on as much as you may feel.

Don’t let fear rob you of the joy in the precious moments like these.

Leave a Reply