How to Help a New Mom

As a new mother, all I wanted was privacy. I wanted no one or nothing to come anywhere near me. Sure they could bring food, help around the house, but I didn’t want them to come into my bedroom, invade my personal space and feel like I had to let them hold my baby! If I could have had it my way, I wouldn’t have told anyone that I was in labor but my husband and midwife. I wouldn’t want anyone to see me or the baby for the first week (like literally no one! my husband, midwife and any other children are the only exceptions because…. ya, know… they live there, and well, it’s just smart to have your health care provider visits!)

That’s me, that’s how I work and what I would want. I know plenty of other people who want a lot of people around them right after their baby is born, even while their in labor (my brain can’t even explain this rationally to me! But hey, if it works for you, that’s great!)

Here’s another bloggers post on tips to help an new mother. It’s a Great list! So Much Truth in it!

If I had anything to add to this list it would be:
1. Always be respectful of the mothers wishes and don’t take them personally.
2. If she asks for something, Anything, even if it seems weird or maybe even rude, be respectful of what she just did!
3. Ask if there’s any dietary restrictions or preferences she may need in any meal preparations.
4. Give her grace! She’s extremely hormonal! She may be in shock if her experience wasn’t as planned. She’s learning new skills, if she asks for privacy or space, give it!
5. If you’re not sure what she may need, ask! You can always just ask anyway and see if there’s anything else she might need.

If you know someone who is about to be a new or first time mother, this should be a great recourse for you if you are not sure how to be of help!

What would you add to this list? Would you do anything differently?

The Number 1 Way to Feel Better and Regain Control Over Your Life

“We mortals, men and women, devour many a disappointment between breakfast and dinner-time; keep back the tears and look a little pale about the lips, and in answer to inquiries say, “Oh, nothing!”…”

Middlemarch, George Eliot

This world is full of disappointments. Our entire lives can be shaped and directed by regrets, sorrow, heartache. It can hold you back from following your dreams, destroy your confidence, make you fearful of the future, change the way you think about yourself. You’re not good enough, smart enough, pretty enough, talented enough. You’ve waisted too much of your life already so why try now? How does one live in a world full of such pain, harm and fear? How does one not let past wrongs hold them captive to a life they did not dream of? One simple action.


The practice of forgiveness can have many physical and mental benefits; it improves the quality of relationships, decreases anxiety and stress, lowers blood pressure and risk of depression, it can create a stronger immune system and heart health.

Here is an article that goes into greater depth on the health benefits of forgiveness.

So why do we hold on to the hurt, bitterness and pain if there are so many benefits to let it go? It can give us a sense of power, and righteousness. It also is familiar and can feel safer. Victimization can also cause others to feel sorry for us giving us a feeling of self-importance; the “my life is harder than your life”, “you haven’t had the hardships and set backs I have” can give us an excuse not to live up to our full potential, so if we fail, we have something to blame.

“forgivness is the fragrance that the Violet sheds on the heal that crushed it.”

Mark Twain

     People are taught about forgiveness and maybe its importance, but very few are actually taught How to forgive. Most are taught to simply say the words “I forgive you” and they are forgiven. I find this to be a very poor teaching. Probably the best teaching I have heard on forgiveness comes from Dennis, and Dr. Jennifer Clark. Their ministry, Kingdom Life Church, in Fort Mill SC, has a very simple, effective way of teaching about forgiveness. Its simple enough for a child to understand and is effective immediately.

Now for those of you who are Believers,

cross jesus summit cross
Photo by Pixabay on

Someone once told me that not forgiving someone is like saying what Jesus did on the cross wasn’t enough and it is not finished, he needs to stay there longer to pay for what happened. Would you want your best friend, the best thing to ever happen to you to continue to suffer the most excruciating form of torture? Who am I to say “It is not enough.”?

Ephesians 4:32 says: “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another as God in Christ forgave you.” How did God in Christ forgive you? “Father forgive them, for they know not what they do.” The most precious and pure example of forgiveness. Jesus asked His Father to forgive those who were killing him.

“Life appears to me too short to be spent in nursing animosity or registering wrongs.” 

Jane Eyre, Charlotte Brontë



Here is more information about the Clarks:



“Its a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step onto the road, and if you don’t keep your feet, there’s no knowing where you might be swept off to.”

     In todays world, it’s a dangerous business opening up your computer or web browser. But here I am, venturing out my door, trusting my feet to a Path I don’t know.  But the one who made the path is my friend, so I think I’ll be ok. And if I get lost, I’ll just ask for directions!

house on green landscape against sky
Photo by Pixabay on

“The world is indeed full of peril and in it there are many dark places. But still there is much that is fair. And though in all lands, love is now mingled with grief, it still grows, perhaps, the greater.”

     There is so much truth to this quote. There is indeed so much peril in the world. It seems as though everything you do is followed by some warning of how this may cause serious harm or potential life threats. What we choose to focus on is that which we will see. If we spend so much time watching the news, reading articles about how this or that is bad for you, and you’re slowly dying if you use or do this thing, then of corse you’re going to see and even experience a lot of danger and grief. But when we focus on the good, that which is wholesome (and for Christians, even things that are not “spiritual”), there are good, wholesome things out there. Come on! there is So MUCH More good than there is anything else.

Let’s take it from a biblical perspective. Revelation 12:9 says: “This great dragon-the ancient serpent called the Devil, or Statin, the one deceiving the whole world was thrown down to the earth [in the garden] with all his angles”. Only 1/3 of the angles fell, that means 2/3 are left. Which means theres still more good!

Interesting side thought of mine; Satin was thrown down to earth, in the garden. So while God was creating the world in Gen. 1:1, this happened in Gen. 1:2. It seems to me that the amount of time between the first day and the second day is a lot of time as we think of it. I think it is very possible the earth is billions years old and when God spoke, there was indeed a Big Bang. Can I prove it all in hard factual evidence? No, not really, other than some scriptures that some might say are too vague to support this belief. However, as I find to be the case, you will usually find what you’re looking for, and if not, you will find something.

“There is nothing like looking, if you want to find something. You certainly usually find something, if you look, but it is not always quite the something you were after.”