The Number 1 Way to Feel Better and Regain Control Over Your Life


“We mortals, men and women, devour many a disappointment between breakfast and dinner-time; keep back the tears and look a little pale about the lips, and in answer to inquiries say, “Oh, nothing!”…”

Middlemarch, George Eliot

This world is full of disappointments. Our entire lives can be shaped and directed by regrets, sorrow, heartache. It can hold you back from following your dreams, destroy your confidence, make you fearful of the future, change the way you think about yourself. You’re not good enough, smart enough, pretty enough, talented enough. You’ve waisted too much of your life already so why try now? How does one live in a world full of such pain, harm and fear? How does one not let past wrongs hold them captive to a life they did not dream of? One simple action.

Forgivness.

The practice of forgiveness can have many physical and mental benefits; it improves the quality of relationships, decreases anxiety and stress, lowers blood pressure and risk of depression, it can create a stronger immune system and heart health.

Here is an article that goes into greater depth on the health benefits of forgiveness.

So why do we hold on to the hurt, bitterness and pain if there are so many benefits to let it go? It can give us a sense of power, and righteousness. It also is familiar and can feel safer. Victimization can also cause others to feel sorry for us giving us a feeling of self-importance; the “my life is harder than your life”, “you haven’t had the hardships and set backs I have” can give us an excuse not to live up to our full potential, so if we fail, we have something to blame.

“forgivness is the fragrance that the Violet sheds on the heal that crushed it.”

Mark Twain

     People are taught about forgiveness and maybe its importance, but very few are actually taught How to forgive. Most are taught to simply say the words “I forgive you” and they are forgiven. I find this to be a very poor teaching. Probably the best teaching I have heard on forgiveness comes from Dennis, and Dr. Jennifer Clark. Their ministry, Kingdom Life Church, in Fort Mill SC, has a very simple, effective way of teaching about forgiveness. Its simple enough for a child to understand and is effective immediately. forgive123.com

Now for those of you who are Believers,

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Someone once told me that not forgiving someone is like saying what Jesus did on the cross wasn’t enough and it is not finished, he needs to stay there longer to pay for what happened. Would you want your best friend, the best thing to ever happen to you to continue to suffer the most excruciating form of torture? Who am I to say “It is not enough.”?

Ephesians 4:32 says: “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another as God in Christ forgave you.” How did God in Christ forgive you? “Father forgive them, for they know not what they do.” The most precious and pure example of forgiveness. Jesus asked His Father to forgive those who were killing him.

“Life appears to me too short to be spent in nursing animosity or registering wrongs.” 

Jane Eyre, Charlotte Brontë

 

 

Here is more information about the Clarks: kingdomelifechurch.us

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Perspective

“Its a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step onto the road, and if you don’t keep your feet, there’s no knowing where you might be swept off to.”

     In todays world, it’s a dangerous business opening up your computer or web browser. But here I am, venturing out my door, trusting my feet to a Path I don’t know.  But the one who made the path is my friend, so I think I’ll be ok. And if I get lost, I’ll just ask for directions!

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“The world is indeed full of peril and in it there are many dark places. But still there is much that is fair. And though in all lands, love is now mingled with grief, it still grows, perhaps, the greater.”

     There is so much truth to this quote. There is indeed so much peril in the world. It seems as though everything you do is followed by some warning of how this may cause serious harm or potential life threats. What we choose to focus on is that which we will see. If we spend so much time watching the news, reading articles about how this or that is bad for you, and you’re slowly dying if you use or do this thing, then of corse you’re going to see and even experience a lot of danger and grief. But when we focus on the good, that which is wholesome (and for Christians, even things that are not “spiritual”), there are good, wholesome things out there. Come on! there is So MUCH More good than there is anything else.

Let’s take it from a biblical perspective. Revelation 12:9 says: “This great dragon-the ancient serpent called the Devil, or Statin, the one deceiving the whole world was thrown down to the earth [in the garden] with all his angles”. Only 1/3 of the angles fell, that means 2/3 are left. Which means theres still more good!

Interesting side thought of mine; Satin was thrown down to earth, in the garden. So while God was creating the world in Gen. 1:1, this happened in Gen. 1:2. It seems to me that the amount of time between the first day and the second day is a lot of time as we think of it. I think it is very possible the earth is billions years old and when God spoke, there was indeed a Big Bang. Can I prove it all in hard factual evidence? No, not really, other than some scriptures that some might say are too vague to support this belief. However, as I find to be the case, you will usually find what you’re looking for, and if not, you will find something.

“There is nothing like looking, if you want to find something. You certainly usually find something, if you look, but it is not always quite the something you were after.”

Bits and Pieces

Thanks for returning to my sappy blog thus far. If you have read my previous blogs, first of all, thank you! Secondly, I thought I would share some of who I am because it’s pretty hard to have trust with someone you don’t know. And since I hope to build a strong community and dialogue, that might, just might be an important part of the foundation. So here we go…

My name is Ashley. 

I was born and raised in the south. I was brought up in church, in a (Methodist) Non-denominational church (this will be important to know later).  One of my secret prayers was that God would make me able to fly like Peter Pan and when I did my body temperature would regulate to 72F (I was 12. I didn’t know that I would die ok!) I may have even tried to fly a couple times. I am the youngest of three kids, having two older brothers. I always wanted to be a dancer, ride horses, do some form of art, become a famous actress, live in other countries for at least two years each, speak 6-7 different languages and graduate from college. When I was in high school I was officially diagnosed with dyslexia ( I’m actually rather proud I can spell that word!) in reading, writing (why am I Writing a blog again?!) and comprehension. This meant school was not easy at all. I would study twice as long to make average grades. There were some teachers though who were amazing! They knew I understood the material based on the questions I would ask and even answering the students questions in class (Mrs. Graham, you’re the best). The professional who diagnosed my dyslexia informed my mother and myself that I would never be able to learn a second language or survive college. Therein came my determination to prove her and everyone else wrong. With the help of my therapist, Mrs. Helms, and others over the next two years, I was able to graduate on time and was accepted to a liberal arts college. I was ecstatic! I remember I got the acceptance letter the day before my 18th birthday. My college experience was rocky. With bad roommates (all but one), commuter systems not knowing I was even there, classes I didn’t sign up for appearing on my schedule, I had a rough time catching up. Eventually I ran out of money and had to drop out. I was crushed, my dreams seemed to be utterly destroyed. I had no hope of ever becoming anything. Through different events I ended up going to a ministry school where I met a Really cute guy. But he was so immature I decided there were probably better options. I kept one eye on him thought, just in case. By the second year of ministry school, something changed in him and we actually became friends over the game of Life. A few months later we were getting married and moving to England. After 6 months, we returned home and started a family. I decided I couldn’t let someone else raise my kids even if they payed me. So I joined the ranks of stay at home moms and watched my friends continue to live their lives from a distance. It was hard. Very hard. But thats a whole different story for another time. 

Now I am rejoining the ranks of at home working mothers and with your help I will succeed. 

Motivation

Lets be real for a minute. I have no idea what I’m doing. Creating this blog was done in an effort to increase our income while staying home with the kids (maybe that’s something you’re not supposed to say on a blog, but I did, it’s there in the open now). I have not had a “real” job in more years than care to count, so to say my confidence level is low is perhaps being nice! 

But I have a lot of motivation. These two beautiful kids, and my wonderful husband. 

My dreams and hopes for our future as a family. Our desire to travel, to be self supported missionaries.

Ensuring the wellbeing of my children is a great motivation but probably my biggest motivation would be my husband (caution: PDA alert!). Over the past 10 months I have watched my husband work hard. Very hard. Often overworked and exhausted, he continues to get up every morning between 5:00am and 5:30am to drive 45 minutes to a job where he works in the heat, the rain, the wind, the cold and the dirt or mud for 10+ hours Monday through every Friday. He is gone almost 13 hours a day and 10 hours on Saturdays. And yet, he still comes home and plays with the kids and helps me around the house. How could I be more proud of him? I feel so honored to be his wife and stand by his side, having the privilege of watching him grow and mature in some inspiring ways. But I miss him and I want him home. 

And so it is for these reasons I have chosen to embark on this journey blog. So please stay tuned for more posts and thank you for joining me on this journey of learning. 

Trial and Error

How many times have you tried something only to have it fail. I have, I tried several small business endeavors. They all failed. Miserably.

How many times have have you wanted to try something new but did not know where to start or what would work best for you? Beauty products, baby products, workouts, cleaning hacks, recipes. This blog for one!

How many times have you been given advice that did not work, like dating “how to’s”, what job you should have, what you should do with you life? Just small things, nothing major.

How many times do you wish someone had told you something that could have prevented unnecessary pain, stress, loss of time and money? My husband and I could name a few!

I will be addressing some of these topics and more in future posts as a source for practical and informative life skills and tips, stories of my own experiences as well as others to equip you and hopefully give you successful tools in your Life belt to make you successful by learning from trusted, tested individuals such as myself and those who ave influenced my life. I will base my research from a biblical world view and hope to hear from you in this dialogue!